Catherine Zeta-Jones above
Tom Selleck above
Meg Ryan (Margaret Hyra the Jew)
Julia Stlyles is really Mary Sue Peschong, born and raised in Mitchell, South Dakota. Styles was stuck marrying the castoff boyfried of her cousin, Mary Fejfar, Chris Brechler. Brechler did not even get his J.D. from the University of Texas Law School, but instead his a line chef at McDonald's hoping not to be demoted to fry chef for burning to many greasy hamburgers. The alleged Mexican Beauty, Catherine Zeta-Jones now appears to have been born and raised in Peoria, Illinois. Meanwhile, Tom Selleck is reported to once again being investigated by law enforcement for impersonating Thomas Magnum. The charge is felony identity theft. Of course the interesting thing about Tom Selleck is that his father was a hardened communist the Czech communist military, and Tom Selleck is himself a Soviet Russian citizen who is from Vladivostok, Soviet Russia. At this point, Meg Ryan is no longer having sex with her beau Tom Hanks, who is sadly rumored to be suffering from AIDS. Thus, it appears that two of the most interesting Menage a Trois' in Hollywood involve a "tag team sex team" of Catherine Zeta-Jones with Meg Ryan and Tom Selleck together in bed, and, the alternate sex team Catherine Zeta-Jones with Julia Styles and Tom Selleck in bed togather. At this point, I suppose Harrison Ford might say that Tom Selleck's friends in Hollywood are worried about his sexual stamina and a possible hernia. It appears that Mel Gibson concurs in that assessment, seemingly calling from a Prayer Circle to pray for Tom Selleck's sexual stamina and that Tom does not get AIDS like his former gay boyfriend, Tom Hanks. Of course, Julia Styles seems to be complaining that her dike sister, Lisa Peschong Wheatley, is still very big boned, as opposed to being grossly obese that she should be. Lisa seems to reply that it is very difficult to be a champion fat athlete since it is illegal to both add vericose veins and cellulite at the same time. In fact, it may be that all the Peschongs are praying the Lisa Peschong's negro boyfriend comes back into her life so that a little color is added to the family. This was Lisa's father, Leon Peschong's last wish. Meg, "I hope that Tom does a better job next week, it seems that he could only get an erections for us once every five hours. Going to the refrigerator for a cold Coors Light Beer and a bologna sandwhich gets old after awhile. And, of course, I try to ignore Catherine Zeta-Jones farting in bed all the time eating used echiladas which she barrowed from Tom Hanks, who guaranteed there was no AIDS infection semen in the enchiladas." As an additioinal note, we are all glad to hear that the alleged communist cancer victim, Michael Douglas, was able to come back from communist, Havana, Cuba, last night, after his tete a tete with communist dictator, Fidel Castro. Of course we are discounting the rather interesting rumor that Tom Selleck has testicular cancer two years ago, and lost most of his private parts in the surgery.
(C)Copyright (2011) by Anthony Faber and Neothomism, P.C. (PA)
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